Narrator : Ah, ze early morning in Bikini Bottom, when the jellyfish are buzzing about and making their jellyfish jelly. (a jellyfish flies by SpongeBob’s house. Just then a giant periscope comes out of the porthole) Oh, what is happening here? (SpongeBob is looking through the periscope from inside, Patrick waits behind him) Collectors?
(SpongeBob nods to Patrick. They both seriously run toward two vents: one square shaped, one circular shaped. SpongeBob takes the square one and Patrick takes the circle one. The two approach ropes and slide down them. At the bottom, they encounter a case of rope burn and jump around frantically. Once the burn is gone, the two get serious again and approach a closet. It houses three sets of poles and three sets of nets. SpongeBob and Patrick take one of each, connect them and test their mobility. SpongeBob puts on his glasses and the two seriously step out ready for action. A jellyfish flies by and the two joyfully sing and follow it)
SpongeBob : I think I’ve got it! Wait…
(we hear jellyfish stings and SpongeBob and Patrick screaming. The two run back the way they came, being chased by the jellyfish. They fall into a heap in front of Squidward’s house. The jellyfish stings both of their backsides and flies off. Just then, Squidward comes out of his house with his bike)
Squidward : Hm.
SpongeBob : Hey Squidward, we’re jellyfishing.
Squidward : Of course you are, bye now. (walks off)
SpongeBob : Wait! We made a net especially for you! (holds it up) Do you want to come with us?
Squidward : (sarcastically) Really? Jellyfishing with you guys? Oh, that would be the best day ever in my book. I would love to go jellyfishing! I can’t think of anything I’d like to do more on my day off than go jellyfishing with my two best friends : SpongeBob and… uh…
Patrick : Patrick.
Squidward : Right. But I can’t. Bye bye.
SpongeBob : Next time?
Squidward : Oh sure, right! Whatever. (bikes away; under-breath) Like that’ll ever happen.
SpongeBob : You know, Patrick? It always seems like Squidward never has time for fun.
Patrick : Maybe he doesn’t like us.
SpongeBob : No, are you kidding? We’re his best friends.
(Squidward bikes down a path, cuckling to himself)
Squidward : Jellyfishing. (laughs, as he laughs, his nose inflates and deflates) Oh, I’ll go. (laughs) I sure had them going.
(laughs. But, he doesn’t see a jellyfish which is going in the opposite direction. He keeps on laughing. The jellyfish ends up swimming in Squidward’s mouth and he coughs it out)
Squidward : Stupid jellyfish! Beat it!
(he hits it, and the jellyfish goes up his shirt and starts zapping him. Squidward’s legs get tangled on the pedals and he trips on a rock. He bounces down a hill and then falls down a jagged rocky cliff. When he reaches the bottom, there’s an atomic explosion. He groans silently. Cut to SpongeBob sitting at his house. He looks out the window. No one there. He sits down again. He notices a photo of him and an unhappy Squidward that reads, “Friends.” He puts it down and looks out the window again. Squidward, who’s in a wheelchair and all bandaged up rolls down the path)
SpongeBob : Squid’s back! (he phones Patrick, which causes the screen to split diagonally, revealing Patrick on the bottom)
Patrick : Yello?
SpongeBob : Hey Patrick, Squid’s home! And we’re gonna make sure he’s greeted by his two best friends!
Patrick : Oh great! Who are they? (it’s revealed that the two are phoning each other from across the room, just with different wallpapers)
SpongeBob : Us! (the two hang up) Let’s go!
(Squidward wheels himself into his house and turns on the lights. SpongeBob and Patrick are inside with a banner, “Welcome Home”)
SpongeBob : Welcome home, Squidward!
Patrick : Merry Christmas!
SpongeBob : We’re gonna make this your best day ever! (Squidward turns around and wheels out. SpongeBob rolls him back in) Well your best day’s sure not gonna be out there.
(SpongeBob wheels Squidward to a table where Patrick stands by a bowl of soup)
Patrick : How about some soup on your best day ever? (Squidward looks at the soup and sees Alphabet Soup letters spelling out, “Best Day Ever” Patrick holds up a spoon) Here we go! (he scoops some up, but Squidward makes some grunting noises in refusal) Oh, it’s a little hot. (he blows on it, but blows the soup off. Squidward screams off-screen. Patrick notices his spoon is empty and refills it to blow on. This continues for three times and we see all the steaming soup is getting on Squidward. SpongeBob pulls the soup bowl away and laughs nervously)
SpongeBob : I don’t think soup is the best thing for him on his best day ever. (walks near a music stand and Squidward’s clarinet) How about some music on your best day ever? Played on your very own clarinet. (he blows into it, but wind comes out) Sorry, my lips are a little dry. (he wets his lips exaggeratingly long and wet and starts to blow when Patrick takes the clarinet away)
Patrick : Music isn’t best either.
SpongeBob : But what is best is what we saved for last. The one sure-fire thing to make your best day ever THE best day ever!
(cut to SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward in Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob and Patrick hold nets)
SpongeBob and Patrick : (chanting) Jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing!
SpongeBob : This is Jellyfish Fields, where wild jellyfish roam just waiting to be captured. (Squidward rides away, but SpongeBob catches him) No, no, Squid! Over here! I know you’re eager, Squid, but you don’t even have your net. Pat, fix him up while I find him a good specimen.
Patrick : Firmly grasp it in your hand. (he places the pole end on Squidward’s bandaged hand, but it falls because he can’t grab, Patrick picks it up) Firmly grasp it. (he does it again and the results are the same. Patrick’s mad) FIRMLY GRASP IT! (he jams the net through Squidward’s bandaged hand. He groans in pain)
Patrick : That oughta do it.
(SpongeBob spots a jellyfish)
SpongeBob : There’s one in position. Ready… set… GO! (the two yell out words of encouragement to Squidward and jump up and down, but Squidward isn’t budging. The two eventually notice Squidward isn’t going anywhere. They again encourage him, but nothing happens)
Patrick : I think we gotta show him how it’s done.
(in the tune of “The Beautiful Blue Danube,” SpongeBob and Patrick dance along next to the jellyfish and try to catch it. After several attempts, they get into a big fight with stinging and such. The jellyfish escapes the squabbles and swims by Squidward and stings him on the nose. Squidward, mad, goes after the jellyfish. SpongeBob and Patrick, still getting stung by jellyfish, notice)
SpongeBob : Hey look! Squid’s doing it!
(as Squidward chases, SpongeBob and Patrick cheer him on. His wheelchair is stopped by a rock, but he eventually gets back on track. The jellyfish lands on a pink rock and Squidward catches it. He laughs triumphantly, but muffled due to the bandages and whacks the net against the rock. The rock surfaces revealing to be a really huge jellyfish. SpongeBob and Patrick look on)
Patrick : This guy’s good.
SpongeBob : He’s a natural!
(SpongeBob and Patrick cheer Squidward on as Squidward tries to get away from the jellyfish. After several strokes of luck, he’s eventually caught off-screen and is stung to the extreme. SpongeBob and Patrick stop cheering)
SpongeBob and Patrick : Oooh.
(Nervously. Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick walking in front of Squidward’s place covered in bandages)
SpongeBob : Hey, Patrick. Well… (sighs) Thought yesterday went… (hesitates) pretty well, don’t you think?
Patrick : I had fun.
SpongeBob : Me too.
(some whirring is heard in the background)
Patrick : Here comes Squidward!
SpongeBob : Oh, great. (Squidward comes rolling down the path in a stretcher and in a cast) Hey Squid! How about that… (Squidward rolls down the front walk) …best day ever?
Patrick : There’s always tomorrow! (Squidward bangs on the door, trying to get in)
SpongeBob: Um, we’re really sorry about what happened yesterday, Squidward. (he bangs the door again) Um, we got you a present! (it’s the jellyfish that caused Squidward to encounter the large jellyfish in a jar) It’s the jellyfish. (Squidward frowns)
Patrick : You know, from yesterday!
SpongeBob : You’re not still mad, are you?
(Squidward opens the jar)
Patrick : Yup, he’s still mad.
(The jellyfish chases after SpongeBob and Patrick and stings them. Squidward laughs to himself. But the large jellyfish is back and zaps Squidward. Now he’s burnt to a crisp. The cast cracks off)
Squidward : Ouch.