SpongeBob : (SpongeBob walks outside, and breathes in the fresh air) Ahh, what a wonderful day. The sun is out, the water is shimmering, scallops are chirping. So peaceful.
(SpongeBob immediately grabs wood, a hammer, and some nails, and starts to noisily build a stand. Squidward peeks his head out the window)
Squidward : Can we lower the volume, please? I can’t work with all that racket going on!
SpongeBob : Oh, sure thing, Squidward.
Squidward : Yes. Mmm. Right. Mmm.
SpongeBob : OK.
(he taps on a nail lightly, and he looks up at Squidward’s window. He does it again, and continues to, making sure he doesn’t make too much noise. Meanwhile, in Squidward’s house, Squidward has his clarinet on hand)
Squidward : And now… for some soothing sounds from Squidward’s clarinet. Thank you, thank you.
(he starts to play. SpongeBob looks up and sees that Squidward is playing, so he decides to finish his stand quickly. Squidward looks out the window again)
Squidward : I thought I… Wha?
SpongeBob : Hey, Squidward! Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents.
Squidward : Oh, right. Like I would spend a moment of my time blowing bubbles.
SpongeBob : Uh huh!
Squidward : Oh, please! I mean, who in the world would pay to blow bubbles?
(Patrick is coming out of his house, stuck to the underside of the rock)
Patrick : Good morning!
Squidward : Oh, boy.
(Patrick walks over to SpongeBob)
SpongeBob : Good morning to you, sir. Would you care to blow a bubble?
Patrick : Hmm, how much is it?
SpongeBob : Only a quarter.
Patrick : Sounds reasonable. (whispering) Uh, I’m going to need to borrow a quarter.
SpongeBob : Sure thing1, Patrick. (he pulls out a quarter and he gives it to Patrick)
Patrick : Ah, one quarter. (he hands the quarter back to SpongeBob, and bites it to see if it’s real)
SpongeBob : Thank you.
Squidward : Hmm, business is booming2. How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors? Uh huh. (he continues playing)
SpongeBob : One bubble wand, dipped and ready to go. (Patrick grabs wand from Spongebob, inhales deeply and begins to blow, but a bubble doesn’t come out. He pants and blows again. After a while, SpongeBob puts up a “Lessons” sign. Patrick then loses his breath) Could I interest you in some lessons?3 Only 25 cents.
Patrick : Uh, very well, then. Hey, Sponge, can I borrow another quarter? (SpongeBob hands Patrick a quarter) Thanks. (he winks and hands the quarter back to SpongeBob)
SpongeBob : OK, Patrick, it’s all in the technique! (he starts doing his infamous routine) First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Theeeen PELVIC THRUST! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, DON’T FORGET IT! Now its time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then… (he blows bubbles shaped like ducks)
Patrick : Oooh. (SpongeBob pops out of nowhere and blows a box. Patrick giggles and SpongeBob blows a caterpillar) Ah! (The caterpillar then pops one-by-one, with descending sounds. Patrick continues to giggle. SpongeBob blows a boat, and it floats off, pops, and makes a foghorn noise. Cuts to inside of Squidward’s house)
Squidward : Huh? (he shakes his clarinet. Cut back to outside with SpongeBob and Patrick)
SpongeBob : And now… with two hands! (he inhales deeply and blows out an elephant)
Patrick : It’s a giraffe!
(Patrick continues laughing as the elephant floats over into Squidward’s house. SpongeBob then frowns and tons of smaller bubbles come out of both windows of the house as an elephant sounds. Squidward opens the door with a sour look on his face. SpongeBob and Patrick hide behind the stand. SpongeBob places a “Closed” sign on it. Squidward looks over the stand)
SpongeBob : Excuse me, sir, but we are clo…
Squidward : Don’t give me any of that! 4 How can you two possibly make all this noise just blowing bubbles?!
SpongeBob : We’re not just blowing bubbles, we’re making bubble art! Watch carefully. (he does his infamous routine again) First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Theeeen PELVIC THRUST! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, DON’T FORGET IT! Now its time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then…
(he blows a butterfly, which flies over to Squidward, lands on his head, and pops)
Squidward : That’s not art. That’s just annoying. Blowing bubbles, that’s the lamest idea I have ever heard. (SpongeBob and Patrick, now depressed, head to SpongeBob’s house) You should be ashamed of yourselves.
(SpongeBob closes the door as Squidward laughs to himself)
Squidward : Bubbles. (he continues laughing) Art.
(he mumbles, and picks up the bubble wand, sniffs it, and inhales to blow. Then, SpongeBob pops up out of nowhere)
SpongeBob : That’ll be 25 cents, sir.
Squidward : Ah, whoa, what? (SpongeBob blinks) Oh… who-who would pay 25 cents to blow bubbles?
SpongeBob : We also offer lessons for beginners. (he puts the “Lessons” sign up)
Squidward : Beginners? What could be more simple than blowing a stupid bubble? (he pulls a quarter out) Here’s your 25 cents! (SpongeBob bites it to see if its real and it bends) Watch and learn.
(he inhales and blows, but nothing happens)
Squidward : Uhh… wait, wait, wait. (he inhales and blows again, but nothing happens again) One more time. Here. Wait. (he inhales and blows again, and a small bubble comes out and instantly falls to the ground and bursts, making a raspberry sound. Squidward looks over at SpongeBob and Patrick. They gulp, and then start whistling. Squidward places another quarter on the stand) Uhh… Just a mere warm-up. (he dips the wand in the bubble container, inhales deeply and blows hard. The bubble falls to the ground again, making another raspberry sound, gets another quarter out and puts it on the stand)
SpongeBob : Hey, Squidward, remember the technique. (Squidward keeps trying to blow bubbles while SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to show him the technique)
SpongeBob and Patrick : (while standing on one foot) Technique! Technique! Technique! Technique!!!
SpongeBob : (weakly) You’re not doing the technique.
Patrick : Technique.
Squidward : Technique? Technique!? Technique, technique, technique, technique, TECHNIQUE!
(Squidward starts to do the infamous routine, while imitating SpongeBob)
Squidward : First I do this, spin around. Stop. Double take three times. And here we go, pelvic thrust. Wehooooo! Wehoohoo! Oh, stop on your right foot, don’t forget it. Then, bring it around town. And a little of this, a little of that, a little of this, this, this, this, that, that, that, that. And that, that, that that that that! And then…
(Squidward screams into the wand, blowing a gargantuan, unshaped bubble)
SpongeBob and Patrick : Wow! (Squidward is then lifted off the ground. The bubble pops off the wand and Squidward falls back on the ground)
SpongeBob : All right, Squid! That was so good!
Patrick : Squid is number one!
Squidward : I really did it, didn’t I? Hey, you guys didn’t blow anything like that!
SpongeBob : No.
Squidward : Now that’s a bubble!
SpongeBob : You said it5, Squidward. See, it is all in the technique!
Patrick : Yeah, technique.
Squidward : Technique? Hah! SpongeBob, you don’t think I created that (kisses his tentacle) beautiful work of art with your help? (he starts laughing) Come on, it’s in my genes.
SpongeBob and Patrick : Squid’s got genes! Squid’s got genes! (Squidward walks back to his house)
Squidward : Thank you, thank you, thank you. (he starts to play his clarinet. SpongeBob and Patrick chant Squidward’s name. At one point, they belly flop each other and Patrick falls on the ground.) I rock. (Squidward continues to play his clarinet. As SpongeBob and Patrick continue to chant, Squidward’s bubble flies over them, covers the house, and pulls it out of the ground and up towards the top of the ocean. SpongeBob notices and stops Patrick)
SpongeBob : (concerned) Squidward! (Patrick now notices)
SpongeBob and Patrick : Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! (Squidward stops playing his clarinet)
Squidward : Hello, my friends. You are looking at a… (he sees how far he is from the surface)
SpongeBob : SQUIDWARD!
Patrick : SQUIDWARD!
Squidward : …genius.
(the bubble explodes in the air and then the ground violently rumbles and shakes. SpongeBob and Patrick look in awe)
SpongeBob and Patrick : Wow!
(the ground stops shaking. The two slowly walk back to their homes. They then speed up and run inside their houses. Squidward’s house floats back to the surface. He starts playing his clarinet weakly to the Thankfulness song as the screen fades black, ending the episode)